Never Alone
by Ella Ann
Summary: Alex is free from MI6, and has arrived safely in America to begin a new life with the Pleasures. But will he ever be able to overcome his past and embrace his future? Takes place after SCORPIA Rising. Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I tried to portray these characters as accurately as possible, but I'm not sure if I have succeeded...**

**Thanks for reading, and any advice or criticism (so long as it's stated kindly) is welcome! **

Never Alone

His room was plain. Boring. Expressionless.

The walls were stark white, and the wooden floor beneath his feet was shiny and new. A few suitcases sat untouched, scratched and dusty from their long journey to America. The light fixture was beautiful, an ornate piece of artistry that seemed to be out-of-place in the bare room. There was a window, just one, but it was large, and gave him a splendid view of the world around him. And from where his bed was positioned, he would be able to see the lights from the city clearly come nightfall.

Alex Rider's flight had touched down in the early hours of morning, just before dawn. Sabina and her mum had been very happy to see him, and informed him that his room was left undecorated so that he would have the opportunity to make it his own. He had been assured that they intended to spruce up the place, to make it seem fit for a teenager. It was such a kind gesture, but Alex couldn't help feeling empty inside, as if his soul was as blank as the four walls around him.

He was trying to overcome. Desperately, he struggled to put the pain and the sorrow behind him, to forsake his past and embrace his future. But that was easier said than done….

Alex ran a hand through his hair and walked over to the window, flicking the locks and prying it open. He let the gentle breeze waft into his room, carrying with it the scents of the city, but he was far too lost in thought to take note of anything.

He was on an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes he felt strong, confident, stable – other times he felt as if his whole world were crashing down around him. Right now, he was experiencing the latter.

A wave of sorrow surged through his body, making him feel dizzy and sick. He leaned forward, resting his hands on the windowsill, letting his head drop. _Jack._ He missed her so much, more than he would admit to anyone, even Sabina. She had always been there for him….and frankly, he wondered if he ever took her for granted.

Tears welled in his eyes, threatening to slip down his face. That terrible scene replayed in his mind until he was on the verge of a breakdown. He should have been able to save her; he should have been there for her, as she had been there for him all these years…

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Startled, he spun around, throwing a punch on instinct. He heard a pitched, girlish yelp, and was horrified to see Sabina Pleasure on the floor.

Alex's eyes went wide and his breathing stopped. His lungs felt like blocks of ice in his chest, and he was unable to move, unable to think. Sabina looked up at him, fear in her eyes. As recognition dawned on them both, Alex backed away abruptly, muttering apologies and shaking with anxiety.

"Alex," she whispered, standing up. "It's all right, I'm all right," she reached her hand out to him.

Hesitantly, he took it. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Why did you sneak up on me like that?"

Sabina blinked twice, and then pulled her hand away. "I called your name several times."

"Oh," he said. "I don't know why I—"

She cut him off. "I understand that I startled you," She paused. "Don't worry, I ducked in time, you didn't hit me. I was simply…surprised." Her voice was a bit shaky, but she forced a smile. Her words hung in the air, and they both stood there, unsure of how to proceed.

"I'm so very sorry…," he said again.

"Let's not speak of this anymore, okay? It was an accident. You were obviously distracted." Alex could tell that Sabina was a bit uneasy, and wanted to put this situation behind her as soon as possible.

She hesitated, and then gave him a quick hug. "If you ever need to talk, I _am _here, Alex. I won't judge you. You're not alone. Just remember that." She smiled again and turned to walk out of the room, stopping at the threshold. "Oh, and one more thing."

Alex looked up.

"I'm going out tonight with Mum to the cinema. We thought we'd catch a movie. It might bore you, but if you'd like to come, it would keep your mind off – well, you know—"

His first inclination was to decline, make up some excuse about being tired. But some part of him really wanted to escape reality for a while. "I'd love to," he plastered on a smile, "But can it be something other than a romance? Perhaps a comedy?"

"I think we could work something out," she said, obviously pleased. "Be ready in a couple of hours,"

Alone in his room, Alex forced himself to focus on unpacking, and hung up a few posters to add some life to the walls until he could paint. He was cautiously optimistic that tonight might be good for him. Perhaps such an average, danger-free activity would clear his head and give him a break from his consuming self-pity.

No, he would not be fine from now on. He was still going to struggle with his past and fret over things he could not change, but at least there were people here who cared for him. He didn't have to do this alone – although he knew he would try.

In the end, however, he _was not alone_. He simply needed to remember that one, simple fact. He continued to unpack his clothes.

_I am not alone…_

_I am not alone…_

_I will never be alone. _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! This chapter is a bit shorter (there's much more dialogue), but I hope that you like it! If you don't...feel free to let me know (kindly, please)! I think I'll be able to update about once a week, give or take a few days. Thanks again for the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

"Thanks, Sabina, I had a great time tonight," Alex said as they walked down the lavish hallway to his room, their footsteps echoing behind them.

"Anytime, Alex. Perhaps we can do this again soon. A couple of the previews looked interesting."

He smiled and gave a nod. "That'd be great,"

Stopping in front of his door, she gave him a quick hug. Sabina still seemed a bit uncomfortable being so close to him since the earlier…incident. "Goodnight," she said.

"Sleep well,"

He thumbed the light switch and locked himself in his room, leaning his forehead against the cool wall as he desperately gulped down air. His heart raced with anxiety and he could feel heat rise in his cheeks.

What was wrong with him? Tonight was perfectly _normal_. He wasn't shot, tortured, or blackmailed. He saw a tolerable movie with Sabina and her mum, yet he was still feeling nervous and sick. And the morbid images filled with death and blood…they never seemed to stop flooding his mind.

_Get it together, Rider. You're fine. You're not alone, remember?_

He took careful, measured breaths, bringing his heart rate down enough so that he could no longer feel the steady pounding in his neck. Sufficiently stable, he undressed and pulled on his pajamas, climbing in between the borrowed sheets draped over his bed.

For a long moment, he just stared out the window. The city lights gleamed brightly, and he allowed his mind to wander, to enter another world where there was no death, hurt, sickness or malice...and allowed the peacefulness of his fantasy to lull him to sleep.

…

The neighborhood was serene. Most people were still in their beds as the inky black of the night sky melted into the bright hues of dawn. The air was crisp, refreshing. It held a certain untouched quality to it; as if it had not yet been disturbed by a single soul.

Alex knew this because he was standing by the window. He was standing by the window because he couldn't go back to sleep. Not after the nightmare he'd had.

He'd had nightmares before, of course. It was nothing new. But this one was particularly jarring. Mainly because he couldn't remember a _thing _about it. All he had was this feeling…this strange, sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd had that feeling before, too, but again, the ambiguity of _why _it was there disturbed him.

Alex was used to being in control of his emotions, his thoughts. With all the uncertainty in his life, his mind was the one thing that he could control. But now…with that gone? He was off. And he should really seek help, tell someone the truth of how he was feeling. _Maybe if I just – no._

As soon as it was conceived, Alex crushed the thought.

He would not – could not – do that. Although the offer to talk with Sabina was there…his feelings were personal. If he shared his thoughts with others, then he would be showing his weakness – his vulnerability. And his strength was the only reason he had survived this long.

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts.

Enough of this self-absorbed misery – he needed to get a hold of himself, and quickly. Maybe if he unpacked some more of his things…

Yes, that would help. Distraction. That would solve his problem. So long as he kept himself busy, he would be fine.

He would be perfectly fine…

…

When Alex went downstairs to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, he wasn't really expecting anyone to be awake. But, to his surprise, there sat Edward Pleasure, his laptop on the table and a steaming coffee mug in his hand.

"Alex," he said, mildly startled. "You're up early. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," Alex lied, pausing at the cabinet above the sink. "May I get a glass of water?"

"Certainly," he said. "But, if you don't mind me saying…this is _your _house as well. You need not ask my permission for something like that."

Alex faked a smile. "Of course, Mr. Pleasure." He turned on the tap, the water splashing into his cup. _Do not show your fear...do not show your –_

"You can stay down here if you'd like," Mr. Pleasure said, interrupting Alex's mental chant.

"I wouldn't want to distract you." Alex replied hastily, not really in the mood for social interaction. He wanted desperately to seek solitude in his room, where he could be without the stress of maintaining his strong exterior.

"I'm just checking my email. It's nothing important." He gestured to the empty chair across from him. "Come, sit."

"Alright," Alex sat down, reluctantly. They remained still for about a minute, the ticking of a clock the only noise filling the room. Uncomfortable, he sipped on his water.

"I was thinking that we could go shopping today, to get the rest of the furniture for your room. There are some excellent shops downtown that may have something suited to your style."

"That would be…fun." _This will keep me busy_…he thought, relieved at the way this conversation was going. And despite his current emotional state, he couldn't help but think that his room was in dire need of some color and decorations.

"It's a plan, then." He set his coffee mug on the table.

"Thank you, Mr. Pleasure." Alex went over to the sink, gently depositing his cup. "I think I'll go dress before breakfast."

He smiled warmly. "We'll leave at around ten."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Next week's update may be a bit late. My family is on vacation this week, so I won't have as much time to write. **

**Again, thank you so much for the reviews, follows, favorites, etc. I truly appreciate them!**

"You're going to love the city, Alex. There are so many quaint little shops. And with my help, your room is going to look great," Sabina said.

Alex laughed, and it was almost genuine. "You don't think I have any decorating sense, do you?"

"Well," she began, "not exactly."

He laughed again. "Oh come on. I know what I'm doing. Perhaps my artistic vision is even better than yours."

"We'll see about that, Alex. But I can assure you, you'll need my help making it presentable."

"Whatever you say," he joked. Alex knew what Sabina was doing; she was working very hard to keep the atmosphere light, for his sake. Although he was doing his best to fake stability, Sabina was far too sensitive and observant to _not_ take note of the slight discoloration under his eyes and the bounce missing from his step.

She knew that he still wasn't okay. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. At least their constant, meaningless banter was keeping his mind occupied. And it meant that he was never –

The invasive sound of a car horn brought his attention to the front seat, where Edward Pleasure was concentrating intently on driving. He squeezed the small Prius down a side street, muttering something about American drivers. A few moments later, they pulled into a small spot by the curb. Alex looked out the window, taking note of the rusted parking meter beside them.

Sabina rifled through her purse, pulled out a handful of coins, and got out of the car, shoving so many into the slot that Alex was afraid it would jam. "There," she said, waiting for her father to step onto the sidewalk. "That should keep our car from being towed for several hours."

"Three hours and fifty minutes, to be exact." Edward clarified.

Sabina just rolled her eyes.

Alex took a moment to breathe deeply. The city was hot: it was cursed with a dry, oppressive heat. He was beginning to miss the morning's cool breeze as he felt sweat bead on his forehead. He flicked a glance at Sabina, who was fanning herself with her hands, taking in the scenery around them.

There were shops everywhere; some standing large and proud, others so small that they were easy to overlook.

Edward led them down the sidewalk, took a few turns (a right, left, and then a right again) and stopped in front of a furniture store with a large glass showcase and a faded wooden sign, the paint too chipped to read.

"This is one of places we visited when we first moved here, Alex." Edward informed him. "It's not the fanciest place to shop, but their pieces are unique and quite beautiful. And they will deliver to our address, which spares us the trouble of hiring movers." He held the door as they entered.

The first thing Alex noticed as he stepped inside was the artificial atmosphere created by the air conditioner, and he felt a chill run down his spine. Obviously, the store owners were well off financially. It must have cost a fortune to keep the whole place so cool throughout the hotter months.

Next, he took note of the smell. To put it bluntly, the place smelled _old. _But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing; somehow, in a strange way, it added to the allure of the place. In a city where everything was shiny and new, there was something attractive about a shop with a bit of old charm.

It was quite clearly a secondhand store, but everything had been refurbished to look modern, yet classic. The furniture retained elements of its former self that melded exquisitely with the newer touches. Long story short, the place was a hidden jewel, and he was enjoying his time here already.

Sabina immediately busied herself in searching for the "perfect piece" to kick-start Alex's room design, while he meandered around, lost in exploration. Alex began to feel his spirits lift, even if the change was only slight. Joking and laughing with Sabina certainly helped, as did finding a few things for his room.

The day was going well.

As they traveled back to the house, Alex decided that the Pleasures were _incredibly _generous. Once they had paid at the secondhand furniture store, Edward took him and Sabina to three other shops and a small diner. The things for his room would be delivered in the next few days, and the painters would arrive the next morning.

He was truly looking forward to his room being completed. It meant a lot to him, for reasons that he could not entirely understand…as if having a permanent place in the Pleasures' home would bring him closer to the family. As if it would give him a sense of belonging.

Alex snapped out of his thoughts as he felt the car jerk to a halt, and they got out of the car. Mrs. Pleasure greeted them as they stepped into the house. "Did you have fun?"

"We had such a great time, didn't we, Alex?" Sabina grabbed his arm, flashing him a smile. She continued chattering on about their day, hardly stopping to breathe. Alex found himself joining in on the storytelling, and much to his surprise, he didn't have a negative thing to say.

"Alex's room is going to be _amazing_." Sabina breathed.

"I can't wait to see how it comes out!" Mrs. Pleasure said.

After sincerely thanking them for everything, Alex ran upstairs to change for family dinner. His spirits were starting to fall again, but he forced himself to remain positive, at least until it was time for bed, when he could be alone.

Things were getting better. His mind would be occupied with pleasant things for the next few days. That was good, at least.

He just wondered how long it would stay that way.

….

There are some memories so dark, so disturbing, that we do all we can to suppress them, to bury them deep inside of ourselves. With this comes a certain risk, however. Dangerous content under pressure is incredibly volatile. All it takes is a single spark to burn away their casing, exposing the ugly truth that lies beneath.

Alex reflected on this as he sat on the curb, bathed in the dim glow of a street light above him. Everything had been going so well…

He hadn't meant to lose it in front of the Pleasures. How could one little phrase set off a reaction inside of him that he could not control? Everyone was probably wondering where he was. He ran from the house as soon as he felt himself losing his grip on reality. It was strange…one moment he was contentedly seated at the dinner table, the next moment, the fringes of his vision began to blur, and suddenly, he was reliving some of his darkest memories.

He wasn't entirely sure what had triggered the flashback, or how he had appeared to the Pleasures…all he knew was that he was on his feet in an instant, bolting from the house as if it were on fire.

It now was obvious to him that he needed help with this; there was no way that Alex could recover his stability on his own. But…he still had his pride. And he wasn't a mental patient, for goodness' sake!

Besides, if he did book an appointment with a shrink, what would he tell them? All the things that were bothering him, that _tortured _him at night, were far too clouded in secrecy to expose.

So…the final question was, what was he to do?

**A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm not completely happy with it - a few of the paragraph transitions didn't sit very well with me... But perhaps that's just my over-zealous inner-editor speaking. Feel free to tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This story is going to be complete soon...school is starting in a little more than a week, and I can't guarantee that I'll get much time to write. I had plenty of other ideas floating around in my head, but I figured that it would be better to end it before I lost my time and inspiration. There will be one chapter left - the epilogue, which (hopefully) will contain a description of Alex's new room. =)**

**Thanks for everything, guys!**

An hour had passed and still there was no sign of Alex. Edward Pleasure was searching everywhere he could think of to find the boy, but he was growing more concerned by the minute.

He had been stunned when Alex fled from the house. Was it something that he had said? He wasn't sure. It was such a peculiar situation, and none of it made any sense.

Edward sighed. On the flight to America, he had thought Alex was getting better, but he had been foolish to think that his problems would simply right themselves; Alex had seen far too much to simply forget it all and move on.

Adults would have struggled to overcome such a past – and Alex was just a child. He needed to find someway to get Alex help. But he was incredibly stubborn – and, anyway, he doubted that MI6 would take kindly to Alex spilling their secrets. But there had to be something he could do…

Edward _did _have a friend who was studying psychology. If she were willing to help…even if she just visited now and then to help him sort out his feelings…that would certainly be better than nothing.

Suddenly, Edward Pleasure knew what he had to do. It was a long shot, yes, but he had to try. He had to try for Alex.

With shaking hands, he picked up his cell phone and dialed, waiting breathlessly as his call was connected.

"Hello, Mrs. Jones, this is Edward Pleasure…."

…

"Alex!" Sabina cried as he walked through the front door. Her eyes were puffy and her hair was a mess. Mrs. Pleasure looked even worse, and he could feel her tremble as she pulled him into a hug.

"You had us worried sick!" She held him firmly by the shoulders now, looking him up and down. "Are you alright?"

He nodded, immensely uncomfortable and very embarrassed. "I'm…sorry. I don't know what came over me."

She took a few deep breaths, obviously relieved. "Edward has been out searching for you… Sabina, go call your father, please. Let him know that Alex is home."

Mrs. Pleasure placed a hand against his forehead, fussing over him. But all that Alex could focus on was that one word – _home. _It was a simple word, really. One syllable and four letters. Nothing fancy, nothing eloquent, but its connotation…that's what held its power.

And it gave him a sense of belonging – a sense of security and joy. He was overwhelmed by emotion; but he needed time to sort things out.

Bad experiences can shape one's future, yes, but what is _learned_ during those periods of trial – that is what shapes character. Who he once was – the person he was forced to be – should not determine his future.

It was time for a fresh start.

"I—I think I need to be alone for a while," Alex said quietly, leaving for his room before he heard an answer. Legs heavy and mind clouded, he fell back onto his bed, and before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

…

_Tap. Tap. Tap. _

The sound of knuckles on hardwood dragged Alex from the depths of sleep. He sat up, groggy.

"Alex? It's Edward."

"Um…, yes, Mr. Pleasure?" He rubbed his eyes, confused.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Yes, Mr. Pleasure, I'm fine."

There was a long pause, as if Edward were deciding what he wanted to say next – as if it were very important.

"Please, Alex. Let us help you. We all hate seeing you like this; and the worst part is, all of this is completely unnecessary. You have supportive people around you. We _want _to be a family to you. But…you have to accept us."

Alex was silent, unsure of how to respond, distressed by Edward's desperation. He could hear the man's sigh through the door.

"Goodnight, Alex. Just remember that I'm here…if you decide that you wish to talk." His footsteps grew quieter as he walked away, leaving Alex alone with his thoughts.

It was time that he got a handle on his problems, and stopped trying to fix everything on his own. And it was quite foolish of him to refuse people who already seemed to love him so much.

Alex got out of bed a few minutes later and walked down the stairs, finding Edward sitting alone on the couch, skimming through a book. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then –

"Edward, may I speak with you?"


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys! I apologize for the long wait this time. 11th grade is even more work than I anticipated...but anyway...no excuses. This is the last chapter (it's more of an epilogue, actually). Thank you to everyone that has showed interest in this story! Oh, and also, the ending might be a bit sappy...but oh well. Sometimes a happy ending is needed. **

Alex flung open the door to his room, breathing in the lingering scent of paint tainting the air. A dull light filtered in through the blinds, bathing the room in a strangely muted glow. He flicked the light switch.

His room looked _amazing_. Well, to him it did, anyway. Sabina still claimed that it could be better, but he was satisfied with the outcome. The color scheme he had finally managed to decide upon consisted of deep blues accented by lighter tones. His furniture was stained in a dark shade of brown – Sabina said that he should have chosen a lighter color, but again, he liked the way it looked.

Alex was not really one for knickknacks or decorations, but the room contained a few framed football posters – he was trying to remember that the sport was called soccer here in America – and some personal mementos scattered across his desk and nightstand.

Things were definitely looking up for him – his talks with Edward's psychologist friend weren't exactly enjoyable, but they seemed to be helping. At least, he thought so. It was nice for him to have a complete stranger to talk to. He found it much easier to express his more vulnerable side to someone he didn't have a personal relationship with.

His interactions with the Pleasures – his _family _– were becoming much more familiar. They were past the first few stages of awkward acclimation. And he would be starting school again next week. He was looking forward to the experience of going to school in another country, and he hoped that this time there wouldn't be any major distractions from his studies. Finally, he would have a consistent routine.

He tugged open the door to his closet and glanced at himself in the mirror, ruffling his hair and fixing the collar on his shirt. He checked his watch – he should head downstairs. Picking up a small box from his desk, he made his way down the steps, mindful of the loose board in need of repair. To his surprise, there were at least a dozen people crowded into the living room. On second thought, he wasn't actually surprised. Sabina was always friendly and it was only logical that she would have many friends.

He was searching the room for familiar faces when Sabina caught his eye and started toward him. His hand clenched around the box, and suddenly, he was very nervous.

"Hey Sabina," he said casually, masterfully hiding his true emotions.

"Alex!" she said. "You clean up well." He felt heat rise in his cheeks – so much for his casual mask. "But I already knew that."

"So do you," he smiled. "Here," he said, handing her the box. "Happy Birthday."

She took the box from him carefully and untied the ribbon with her slender fingers. Her eyes immediately lit up as she saw what was inside. "It's beautiful!" she exclaimed, pulling an ornate necklace from the box. "Thank you so much!"

"I thought you would like it," he said.

"You were right," she smiled, meeting his eyes. "Would you mind – well, if it's not any trouble –"

"Would you like help putting it on?"

"Yes, thank you."

She lifted her hair as Alex opened the clasp and fastened it around her neck. "There," he said, a nervous smile on his face. She turned around, and before Alex could say anything else, he found himself being pulled into a hug.

At that moment, Alex felt completely at home. He knew that this was where he was supposed to be, and there wasn't anything that would convince him to think differently. It was completely clear to him now that what everyone had been telling him since his arrival in America was true…he would never be alone.


End file.
